Adaptation
Do I have an original thought in my head ? Maybe if I were happier. Life is short; I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m a walking cliché. There's something wrong. Oh well. I should work, I'm way overdue. If I stopped putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my skinny ass, if my ass wasn’t skinny, I would be happier. I wouldn’t have to wear these wide shirts all the time; like that’s fooling anyone. skinny ass. I should start climbing again, twice a week; really do it this time. Maybe jogging; I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more; improve myself. Maybe I should learn Russian or something. Or take up an instrument. I could speak russian. I could be the screenwriter who speaks russian and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short; stop looking like Kurt Cobain. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don’t have to be attractive. But that's not true, especially these days. There's almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel like I should apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that’s what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry... all my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help from them; but I'll still be ugly though. Nothing is going to change that.
- Charles Kauffman ?